Monday column: Growing up confusion

I was talking to a childhood friend and he revealed how lucky he is now to have gone through a period of growing up confusion that nearly diverted him away from the path his parents planned for him.

Saleh Al-Shaibany

With no real target to aim for, he found himself asking more questions that he could not find answers. He now recalls that he could not concentrate on his education because the classroom material did not give him the clues he was looking for.

He aimlessly wandered on the streets looking for what life could not find for him.

They were the days of despair with no goals to aim for. When the opportunity came for him to leave the country of his birth, he took it with grateful hands. That completely changed his life and he started all over again in a new environment. Now looking back, he thinks many people who failed in life did not get the right support, either from parents or from the people around them.

It is true. A child may get a good upbringing at home but who they play with in the streets is crucially important. But at the same, it is of no use if parents do not do their job right at home. These days, the electronics devices we allow them to use bring the streets right into their hands. They can access a million streets around the world by flicking their fingers on the bright screens.

But schools and universities, as we know, are not the perfect places for our children, either. They get educated as we expect them to be but essentially not all the education they get there is purely academic. The company they keep within the four walls of the educational institutions are important. The influence of these 'bad sorts' can take them away from the right path while they try to keep up with their education.

I don't need to go into the details of the bad habits children can pick up from their peers. But it is important that parents are always vigilant all the time when they notice odd behavior in their children. Having said that, we know the risks involved but children must be allowed to pursue their own dreams. It is impossible for parents to be vigilant all the time. It is not healthy either when their children know that they are being closely monitored.

However, many times it is the world they live in is the problem. It starts right from home. The fear of the dark, imaginary monsters and ghosts are a trauma for many children. But what is really devastating for them is separation or divorce of their parents.

For example, imagine what is going in the minds of children when they see their parents constantly shouting or even beating each other. When that happens, they do not even have to step out of their houses to get hooked up with a lifetime depression. As a result, they grow up with anxieties and fear that something may go wrong anytime in their lives. They also stop trusting anyone knowing that they have been let down in their own homes.

In conclusion, it takes a lot to overcome the past but the good news, most of them do get out of it but sadly, some do not.